Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! by Dave Barry
Humor & Entertainment | Humor
Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down!
Crown (October 3, 2000)
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What's been getting Dave Barry all worked up lately? What can possibly induce him to rise up -- yes, actually out of his chair -- in indignation? Well, lots of things. For instance:
The plague of low-flow toilets (very important!)
The monumental parent-misery quotient of school science fairs
How the U.S. Army "lost" a one-million-dollar missile launcher
The hidden dangers of wasabi
Celebrity low-fat, low-carbohydrate, low-everything diets
Disasters at the FearPlex movie theaters
His dangerous voyage through a cruise ship buffet
Yes, all that, plus the real skinny on the IRS, airlines, Donald Trump, and so much more. It's all here in this new collection of columns from the writer we know as "the funniest man in America."
From the Introduction
People often ask me: "Dave, what is the best thing about being a professional humor columnist?"
I always answer: "The best thing is that I can help others and make the world a better place."
Then everyone has a hearty laugh, because, of course, I am lying. In fact, that's one of the great things about being a humor columnist: You can lie! You get PAID to lie! What other profession can say that?
I have a wonderful job.
By any objective standard of measurement, there is no better profession than humor columnist. That is why so many people want my job. It looks so easy! In fact, as you read the columns in this book, you may find yourself thinking: "Hey, I could do this. Any random person could do this!"
That is where you are wrong, my friend. It takes a very special kind of random person to be a humor columnist. Every year, hundreds of thousands of people try their hand at this demanding profession. After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade.